A little late this week, but better late than never!

April is always a bit of a weird month for me, surrounded with the remembrance of my Dad’s passing, alongside the celebration of mine and my Mum’s birthday. This year wasn’t any different. In fact, it was probably made worse that I was away on a course for both my Mum’s birthday and the remembrance day for my dear ol’ Dad. I didn’t cope very well this year, but after speaking to so many people who are in the same position as me, it differs from year to year. My counselling definitely has helped in that regard anyway; just having a safe haven to laugh, cry, and recount exactly what happened and how I’m feeling has taken a huge weight off of my mind and huge burden off of the everyday emotions that I feel anyway.

Onto happier things that happened last month. I fell extraordinarily off of the wagon, to celebrate the end of my Dryathlon. Honestly, I didn’t see it any other way. We hopped off to our local, which is luckily four doors down, else I wouldn’t have been able to make the walk back, and my ‘friend’, Greg, gave me a shot of Tequila. And then, I remember nothing. Old friends turned up, people I hadn’t seen for about eight years, and it was truly awesome to see some old faces.

A couple of days after that, I went on holibobs to Tenerife with my Mum and my Uncle Pat (his first holiday in about sixteen years!) and I had a completely amazing time, even if Sunday was a complete write off because I felt so disgusting. That’s the thing with becoming regulars in a foreign bar; they give you all these shots and all the drinks were in more than Spanish measures. Yuk. I couldn’t even eat on Sunday. The best bit about that holiday though, is getting back, weighing myself and realising that, although I drank my complete body weight in vodka, wine and Cherry Bakewell shots (vodka, disarrono and grenadine, if you’re interested!), I only put on 2.5lbs! 2.5lbs! Totally weighed in today and realised that I’ve already lost that! Woo hoo!

Telly has been a massive part of this month and I have been addicted to Hollyoaks, Beaver Falls and Glee. And no, I’m not under the age of twenty! I’ve just been really loving those programmes, everything’s being Sky-plus-ed or watching on demand or whatever. Hugely addicted.

Ozzy has actually grown up a lot this month. He’s actually starting to respond to our commands. Breakthrough. Seriously, he’s coming back when he’s called and actually dropping things when Jay tells him to (not when I tell him to, but baby steps, guys!). The biggest test will be this weekend, as we’re heading up to Norfolk this weekend and Jay is determined to let Ozzy off of his lead on the beach. Totally going to be recreating the Fenton chasing deer video… 

>Fenton<

Anyways, that was a quick check in with me. I have been super busy with courses and other bits and pieces going on in life, but I promise I’ll be blogging more. I have so much more to say, but just haven’t had the time to sit down and type! Next week, I’ve got a friend’s wedding in Devon, which I’m really looking forward to as I’m seeing more people I haven’t seen in a small age. That resolution of mine is really working.

Stay awesome, guys and I’ll be back sooooooon

I can’t quite believe that we’re already in April and there’s only a few weeks left of my Dryathlon. It’s absolutely flown by!

March saw my first sunny holiday of 2013 in Antigua with Jay and his family, which seems like a lifetime ago, but it was only over a week ago when we were landing on a snowy runway. Yes, March 2013 will be known as the Spring it snowed. And that year that PJ and Duncan made a return to the charts and got to number one. This month’s been a bizarre one.

I feel like March has brought me closer in my relationships. Jay and I are getting on better than ever, my Mum and I are having an awesome time, and I’m still getting in contact with friends that have fallen off of my radar. I spent a whole evening Facebook chatting to one of my oldest friends who I don’t speak to as much as I used to, and it was lovely to catch up.

In terms of work, that all seems to be going well this month; although it was very stressful when I got back from holiday and spent two days dealing with clients and enquiries that just wanted to deal with me. Its good for my reputation, but not good to divide and allocate my time.

April is also going to fly by. I have so much planned, my next free weekend isn’t until about June time! I have another holiday booked, hen do’s, birthdays (mine in particular!) and it’s going to get a bit crazy for the next couple of months. I’m generally feeling in a good place right now, so I suppose I’ve finally cracked the fun/work balance. Although everyone could probably use a bit more fun.

I may have mentioned her a couple of times, but please meet my friend, Jodi (>link to her blog here<). Jodi is Canadian and despite being over here for quite some time (and being the awesomest line manager ever in my first grown up job), the UK Border Agency (UKBA) have decided she is no longer eligible to live and work here in the UK. She has blogged a little about it and her progress (the first post is >here< outlining all of the details of the first letter). I have never had this problem personally, being from the UK and never adventuring to live or work beyond our pastures, but if you have, please head on over to her blog and comment all sorts of love and helpfulness. 

If the Internet was designed for anything, it was probably to help one another.

I am back in the UK after a very chilled, relaxing and tanning holibob. I had such an amazing time, but I have a confession… I broke my Dryathlon. Twice. So, I’m going to put monies in the pot to say I’m sowree for being completely and utterly rubbish and not sticking to my Dryathlon all the way through. But I was on holiday. I am, however, happily back ‘on the wagon’ after the severity of my two hangovers after breaking it twice. Seriously, I missed two WHOLE days off of being in the sun and just staying in bed. Sob. Karma. But people were surprised I lasted as long as I did (three months, in case you had forgotten!) before finally snapping.

I stayed at the English Harbour in Antigua and it was beautiful. Beautiful beaches and views, a little bit of history around the corner in Nelson’s Dockyard, lovely people (including the company that we went with) and the most amazingly big boats dinghies yachts that I have ever sawed. Incredible! I would thoroughly recommend it; it was probably one of the better (if not, the best) holidays I’ve ever been on! But I did miss my home and Ozzy. For a bit. Now, I want to go back with Ozzy…

I’m back on home turf for one whole month of solid work and diet before I head on out to Tenerife to my Mum’s house for a family/pub friend’s 60th in the sun! And, of course, I’m hoping to blog a little bit more than I have been of late. I’m hoping (with the help of my boyfriend, as I don’t have a camera tripod – potential Birthday present, methinks!) that I can start with some outfit posts as well, which I hope that you’ll find interesting. I’m going to try and do these when I’m not teaching and definitely out of the pool – and when I’m not wearing my standard ‘massive jumper and baggy leggings’ combo, like I am today. It’s sooo cold compared to Caribbean climates!

I will be weighing myself on Wednesday – much against my own request… Antigua is not for exercising or eating well – but I know I need to know where to start again for the hard work to start before Tenerife. That being said, I did manage to drag my tired, sorry ass to the gym at 6.30am this morning, despite only landing home yesterday morning and being very jetlagged and tired. Kudos to me. Three more sessions this week and another four booked in for next week. BAH!

I hope you’re all well and warm. I can’t believe it’s this cold in March. If it continues like this, it’ll probably be snowing on my birthday (April), which has happened once in my lifetime before. Bloody England. Hopefully this means it’ll be a warmer summer? Peace out for now!

Hi guys! I’m reporting to you LIVE from Antigua! Sorry the blog’s being a bit slow at the moment, with work, holiday and life getting in the way, but whilst I’m maxing and relaxing, I’ll come back nice and refreshed with some new posts for you. In the meantime, here’s a picture for you all, my view right now!

So you may remember a small post about how I’m on a spending ban and not spending any money on me and make up and stuff that I just don’t need (>link here<). Well. Here’s a quick update.

As I wrote in my end of January round up (>link here<), last month, Ozzy had to have a small operation on his eyelid. Quite literally, just a stitch. This set me back £500. Then, I had a tyre puncture. And parking tickets. And so far this month, Ozzy had to go to the vet again, to treat his kennel cough and, although a £6 bottle of Benyllyn would have done the job, the vets charged me £100 for two injections, taking Ozzy’s temperature and a course of antibiotics – although, the look on Ozzy’s face when they stuck the thermometer you-know-where was hilarious, it wasn’t £100 worth of comedy.

And of course, our washing machine broke down last week.

Does anyone else feel like when they make a real conscious effort to do something, the universe is completely against them? Jay and I are saving to go away to New York at the end of the year and I had planned to have saved for most of it by now and book my flights at the end of the month, but I’m actually borrowing money off my Mum, just to live. It’s a sad, sorry state of affairs and I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t getting me down. I can’t do anything that I want to do, even if I wasn’t in a spending ban, because of my lack of finance and making ends meet is becoming somewhat of a worry.

I’m really hopeful that everything is going to change soon. Maybe March will be much less of a strain on the red and black lines of my bank balance. Things that will inevitably alter my savings are the fact that I’ve increased my hours again and that started from the beginning of this month, so I will have more of a pay packet for when I get paid in mid-March. But am I being overly hopeful?! In March, my car has to be taxed and insured again. No doubt, I’ll get another parking ticket (grumble, grumble, parking) and I’m probably going to have to fix the leak from my shower at some point.

Don’t get me wrong; I am very appreciative of what I have and my privileges, blah blah blah. And am I being greedy to want some sort of life outside of actually living? Bearing in mind, that I’m not drinking alcohol right now but, in a couple of months, this will become another expense that I can’t afford.

I still can’t pinpoint when in my life I became a fully fledged adult. When I was a student, I handled my money a lot better than what I do now. Weekly pay day was a blessing back in those days – ahhh, the times before council tax, electricity bills and cheap food and drink is such a dream from where I’m sitting now. Honestly, I just wish I was more sensible with money and that I found this out before I even started my spending ban.

Today marks the last day of my spending ban and I have consciously decided that I want to extend this a little bit longer. Realistically, my calendar is not getting really busy until June/July time, so why not extend it to the end of May? Another 60 days to try and rectify this situation! Next update about my now extended spending ban on 4th May!

Where the hell did February go?!? This month has completely FLOWN by! I can’t believe just how quick this year is going!

So February saw a little bit of snow and a lot of work in my little world. I have been really focused on work and doing better at my job – and I think it’s working. I have been in and out of the pool so much, I’m growing gills. The month saw me go out for lunch with an old best friend who I hadn’t seen for aaaaaaaaages, a hen do and loads of driving to here, there and everywhere!

I’ve been going to the gym a lot more this month in the hope it’d help my weight loss. In February, I lost 1.7lbs, which isn’t massive, but it’s something more than nothing and it has been very up and down with work meetings in yummy restaurants, where I’ve felt the need to pig out on mains and desserts!

I haven’t blogged as much as I would have liked to in February and this is something for me to concentrate for March. I think I’ve just been so in my whirlwind of work, sleep and gym, there hasn’t really been much time for sitting at a computer and writing and reviewing. But I’m hoping to change that for March and setting aside some time for me to get on with writing some reviews and make up stuffs. My drafts folder is overflowing with ideas!

I did however broadcast my first ever YouTube video with a basic introduction to me and my life! I’m really looking forward to recording some more videos and showing you all a glimpse into how I really am, rather than how my personality reads in blog posts.

I have fallen back in love with Instagram (where you can follow me @frannooooo) and I’ve started showing more of my make up looks for going out – along with hints of Ozzy-filled pictures! Make sure you follow me to find out what else I’ve been up to.

And that’s about all I have to say about February! Yawn! What a speedy month; it’s amazing how those two or three days in a month make all the difference! This weekend is turning out to be a hectic one, with a hen night from last night, a birthday party tonight and a birthday lunch tomorrow! Not to mention a personal training session at 8.30am tomorrow! No rest for the wicked and I am pretty wicked. Wicked cool, that is. Bye bye, street cred…

Last night, I decided to upload my very first YouTube video! Exciting, eh? I thought it’d give you more of an opportunity to get to know me, rather than reading what I’m going on about! I’m probably going to use my new camera to record in the future; I used the camera on my MacBook Pro and I’m not sure about the quality!

Please let me know what you think, I’m thinking of using my YouTube account as something for me to publish tags and hauls Let me know if you want to see any more of me, by subscribing and clicking the thumbs up!

It feels like absolutely ages since I’ve posted! Sorry, guys; there hasn’t really been much of an excuse, other than I have been doing a bunch of stuff over the past couple of weeks. I have a few posts scheduled for you over the next week, so I look forward to sharing with you some bits and pieces

This is my new monthly feature and is a review of my month. I wanted to make my blog a bit more personal this year and I’m hoping that you’ll enjoy these features, and seeing what I got up to!

This month has mostly been fitness orientated, starting off very well with going to the gym three times a week at the beginning of the month however, with the announcement of my spending ban (>link here<), I found realistically that I couldn’t really afford to keep trekking back and forth in my car and paying out £hundreds for the gym appointments, so I decided to start my Insanity workout towards the end of this month; I’m currently a week into it and I’m feeling fabulous and I will be writing a review of it when I’ve finished the first month for you! Of course, this month has been the beginning of my 2013 weight loss journey and you can follow my progress here every Wednesday (apart from last Wednesday…).

In terms of work, I have been working really hard at my full time job, trying to really increase our numbers of clients. My job role has slightly changed and I’ve been given more hours, as I’m in a more positive frame of mind than I was at the end of last year. I feel like I’m a lot more ‘stable’ in terms of my emotions and I’ve really been understanding bereavement and mourning a lot more; I’m scheduling a post about bereavement and my personal journey through bereavement in a couple of days or so and I hope that some people find that useful if they’re going through a bad time.

My spending ban has been okay. Unfortunately, I got a tyre puncture this month and Ozzy had to have a small eye operation in the same week, so I haven’t managed to save anything. In fact, I’ve had to borrow some money off of my Mum for the time being, as it really knocked me out of whack! Dogs are so expensive; Ozzy’s small operation on his eye cost me nearly £500!! I can’t wait to claim it back on his pet insurance and hopefully fall into some more money with more hours next month. Jay and I have agreed that, if we save enough, we’re going to try and go to New York for New Year’s Eve, so I’m really focused for this now! I think that changing my blog to a more personal blog rather than beauty focused will definitely help me not to spend so much!

My Dryathlon (>link here<) is still going strong; I am one month down and I’ve got another 77 days to go until my birthday and my first drink of 2013! Honestly, I do feel better for it and I don’t really miss the booze at all. Before Christmas, I was drinking so much all the time on the binge! But I think I’ve realised that I don’t need a drink to have a good time because I’m bubbly enough as it is!

The highlight of this month was definitely going to the Harry Potter studios (>link here with not many spoilers!<)! And, of course, the snow! Ozzy and Jay had a massive snow day and played in the garden all day, and I took about a billion photos; Oz absolutely loves it!

The worst point in this month was going to a funeral of a pub friend who died suddenly and left his one year old daughter behind with his fiancée; I just can’t imagine how she must be feeling right now, but I hope she knows that I’m here if she needs someone to chat to.

So there we have it; that’s my month in a blog post! I hope you had a good January and I’ll see more of you in February

Today, I’m going to write about something which has been a massive part of my life over the last three years; bereavement and grief. I’m very lucky in that I’ve only ever lost one family member in my life and, at the ripe old age of 25, I’ve only ever been to three funerals (one of which was in January). This week marks three years since I lost my Dad in an accident at home – if you’ve been here a while, you may have read some of my very first posts, detailing what had happened because I started my blog as a release for all of the emotions that I felt at the time; it is only recently that it has become more beauty related in the last year but I wanted a more personal perspective twist on my blog this year and I hope you enjoy this post as the start of this glimpse into my life.

Firstly, if you have lost someone, please remember you are not alone and there’s a lot of people that will relate to you and your experiences. Of course, no one can replicate that particular relationship that you’ve had with the one that you’ve lost but there are always similarities into the way you are feeling. My best piece of advice is to talk about your feelings and why you feel like you do. When my Dad passed away, I felt very numb and, after reading through articles when it had just happened, this is a very common feeling. The pain won’t go away, but you will learn to cope and live with those feelings much easier over time. Time is a great healer and you will have your good days and your bad days. I really wish someone had said that to me after I lost my Dad, because it is very true; although it’s been three years and I thought I was coping with it much better, I made the mistake of going on a course on the actual ‘anniversary’ of my Dad’s death and I felt extremely emotional – to the point where I was unable to finish the last day of the course! Again, this is completely normal and people are more understanding than you probably give them credit for.

Okay, so that’s a brief overview and the things that I wish someone had told me before starting the whole grieving process. But if we go back to basics and strip it down, what actually is bereavement and grief? This is the process of ‘mourning’ after you have lost someone you love and this could be through death or even a relationship break down, although some may argue that these are two separate types but I have experienced both and there are definite similarities.

There are loads of different ‘phases’ of bereavement, but really, it varies depending on how you personally deal with it. Some people get angry, some people get very down and depressed. Generally, there are five different stages that you can experience, and these are outlined here. You might feel like you’re not going through these phases, but that’s completely fine. Every person is different.

Remember, you’re not the only one suffering. I managed to push friends away because I was extremely absorbed in my grief and it is only now that I have started to rebuild relationships that I managed to break down without really realising. If it’s a family member you have lost, your other family members are most likely feeling the same so try to confide with them. For me, I felt like I couldn’t confide in my Mum or my brother; not because we didn’t have a strong relationship but because of the circumstance of how my Dad had died, I didn’t wish to upset them by recalling what had happened. So last year, in September, I started going to bereavement counselling, which I felt helped me massively as I could address everything I wanted to in my own time and cover whatever I felt comfortable talking about, to someone who didn’t know anything about me. Even through a few months of seeing the same lady, I feel like a completely different person this year. Another way I have learned to cope with my grief and bereavement is to do something good and positive in memory of my Dad. I give to Cancer Research every birthday, anniversary, Father’s Day and Christmas, as my Dad had fought cancer three times within his life and was a key fundraiser for cancer charities. On his anniversary, I eat ham, egg and chips, which was his favourite meal, and I drink a pint of cider with three ice cubes in it, which is what he ordered from the pub; I find it helps me to remember the little things about my Dad.

There’s no set time for you to grieve for a loss and every person is completely different. My counsellor says it takes around seven years for the initial shock of losing a loved one to fade a little, but that’s not to say that you’re not going to have good days and bad days. If you feel like you are not coping with your loss, you should seek some help and go to see your GP for any advice.

I hope this helps some of you with showing you some examples of how I’ve been dealing with my bereavement for three years. Don’t be afraid to Google any information as I found it helped loads to work out how I was feeling and what I was going through. You are not alone.